I've been thinking a lot about this line from my post a couple of days ago:

"We've created a world where a child's greatest achievement is being low maintenance."

We're not just talking about classroom management. We're talking about how an entire system has been built around the idea that children should take up less space. Need less attention. Ask for less support.

We've created an environment where success is measured by how little a child needs. How quietly they can sit. How well they can follow directions. How rarely they question what they're told.

And yes, I know - there are some incredible teachers out there creating vibrant, engaging classrooms. Teachers who encourage movement and questions and creative thinking. Who work tirelessly to try and nurture each child's unique spark. They're doing amazing work within a system that wasn't designed for it.

But even in the most progressive classrooms, the underlying message remains. Success still looks like following instructions. Like meeting expectations. Like not making waves.

The quiet ones get praised for their compliance. The still ones for their self-control. The agreeable ones for their cooperation.

Many of us know this truth in our bones, because we've lived it. I know I have.

And these lessons? They don't end with graduation. We carry them into adulthood. Into our relationships. Into our careers. Into every space we occupy.

We become adults who apologise for asking questions. Who feel guilty about setting boundaries. Who measure part of our worth by how little we inconvenience others.

It can take decades to unlearn what being "good" taught us. To recognise that our questions have value. That our needs matter. That taking up space isn't something to apologise for.

And...some of us never do.

This is why choosing a different path for our children matters so much. It's not just about education. It's about breaking a pattern that could shape their entire lives.

It's about interrupting a cycle that's been running for generations. One that taught us - and our parents, and their parents - that our worth was measured by how well we could adjust ourselves to fit someone else's expectations.

When we step away from a system built on compliance, we're doing something profound. We're showing our children that their questions are valuable. That their needs matter. That taking up space in the world isn't just allowed - it's necessary.

We're not just choosing a different way of learning. We're choosing a different way of being.

And this choice? It reaches further than we can see. Our children won't just learn differently - they'll live differently. They'll parent differently. They'll show their own children that worth isn't measured by compliance, that strength isn't found in shrinking, that success isn't about fitting in.

They'll break this pattern. Not just for themselves, but for generations to come.

Talk soon,
Issy

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P.S. Breaking old patterns isn't always easy (that imposter syndrome can be real!). If you're working to create a different path for your children and could use some company along the way, there's now over an hour of mini-episodes in my Life Without School Collection. These are short, focused episodes that tackle the real questions and challenges that come up in this journey, with new ones landing weekly. Listen to them right here 🎙️
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